


I Have Learned To Manage

by thekindworthreading



Series: Jamilton Month 2020 [18]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Angst, Fluff, Jamilton Month 2020, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-18
Updated: 2020-06-18
Packaged: 2021-03-03 23:27:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,101
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24793882
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thekindworthreading/pseuds/thekindworthreading
Summary: Alex hates birthdays.
Relationships: Alexander Hamilton/Thomas Jefferson
Series: Jamilton Month 2020 [18]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1773895
Comments: 8
Kudos: 86





	I Have Learned To Manage

**Author's Note:**

> This is for day 18 (!!) of Jamilton Month - Birthday

Alex had been on edge this past week, like every year before his birthday. He hates celebrating it, hates the reminder that he is another year closer to his inevitable death. He knows that it´s stupid and irrational, but he can´t help it. Alex had even thought about taking the day off, but that would have only resulted in questions he doesn´t want to answer, so he will just try to avoid everyone today.

“Morning, sleeping beauty. Finally awake?”, he hears Thomas asking from the door.

Despite himself, he smiles and he feels some of the disquieting feeling starting to dissolve. He sits up in the bed and stretches, before making grabbing motions toward Thomas. The other man rolls his eyes, but walks over to the bed and sits down on it, pulling Alex into a kiss. Alex lets out a sigh and melts into it, whining when Thomas pulls back.

“Someone is needy today.”, he chuckles, gently brushing Alex´ hair out of his face.

“Why don´t we just skip work? Tell Washington that I´ve got food poisoning and that you need to take care for me?”, Alex proposes, but Thomas just laughs.

He gets back up, shaking his head, while Alex groans and lets himself fall back into his pillow.

“You are no fun. I guess you never skipped school either.”, he calls after him, but Thomas only gives him the finger.

When Thomas is gone, he lets out a sigh and after a moment gets up, starting his morning routine, while doing his best to ignore the fact that it´s his birthday. He joins Thomas a few minutes later in the kitchen, grabbing a cup of coffee and a slice of toasted bread, before heading out again.

“That´s not a healthy breakfast.”, Thomas calls after him, but Alex decides to ignore it.

Thomas comes out of the kitchen a moment later, handing Alex a banana, before grabbing his jacket and the keys for the car.

“Is that a suggestion or-?”, Alex asks, looking at the banana sceptically, but Thomas just rolls his eyes and shoves him out of the flat.

“No. That´s a fruit. Now move your ass or we´re gonna be late.”

Alex just chuckles and lets Thomas manhandle him to the car, where he sips his coffee and annoys Thomas with his singing. He does his best to act normal, but there is still some unease left, that he just can´t shake, and which only grows once they have reached their office building. They take the elevator up to the fifth floor and walk to their offices, that are right next to each other. For a second, Alex thinks that he is safe, and he is already reaching for the door, when he hears a voice behind him, and turns around.

“Hey, Alex. Happy birthday!”, Knox, one of his co-workers says, smiling brightly at him.

Alex does his best not to flinch and forces his mouth to form a smile, as he thanks the other man. He can feel Thomas´ eyes burning into his back, and as soon as Knox is gone, he feels his boyfriend grabbing his arm.

“Can we talk?”, he asks, and Alex closes his eyes for a moment, wants to say no, but nods in the end.

They walk into Alexander´s office and Alex flinches, when he hears the lock turning in the door. He just stands there for a moment, until he feels Thomas´ hands gently guiding him to the couch in the corner, where they sit down next to each other.

“Why didn´t you tell me that it´s your birthday?”, Thomas asks softly, but Alex can hear the hurt in his voice. “We´ve been dating for months now.”

Alex´ shoulders sag and he lets out a sigh, staring down at his hands.

“I hate my birthday. That´s why I didn´t tell you.”

Thomas shakes his head, frowning.

“But why? I mean, I guessed that from your reaction, but why do you hate them?”

Alex shrugs and lets out another sigh.

“It´s a bit, I don´t know, stupid.”

He feels Thomas take one of his hands in his and hesitantly looks up at the other man´s face.

“It´s not stupid, I´m sure, but if you don´t want to tell me, that´s okay.”

Alex is quiet for a moment, before he shakes his head.

“I can tell you, but I don´t know how much sense I´ll make.”

Thomas squeezes Alex´ hand in confirmation and gives him an encouraging smile. Alex closes his eyes for a moment, taking a deep breath.

“Okay, so you know how I grew up poor, so birthdays were never really my favourite day, because all the other kids got present on their birthday´s and I didn´t. I could be glad when we had enough money that my mum could bake a cake.”, he takes a shuddering breath and just concentrates on Thomas´ thumb, that´s softly stroking the back of his hand. “After mum died, birthday´s just got worse, because most of the time I didn´t have anyone who´d even know that it was my birthday. You already know much I´m afraid of death and birthdays just remind me even more of that fact and yeah… I probably didn´t make much sense.”

He has barely any time to react, before Thomas pulls him into a hug and after the initial shock, he melts into it, letting out another sigh.

“You made perfect sense, love.”, Thomas whispers.

They stay like that for some time, before Thomas moves back, which causes Alex to let out a whine. Thomas shakes his head amused, squeezing his had again.

“I know you don´t like your birthday, but how about we ask Washington if we could both have the day off. We could go for lunch and then spend a relaxed day at home. We don´t even have to acknowledge that it´s your birthday, but we could both use a little break, don´t you think?”

Alex bits his lip, thinking about it for a moment, before he nods reluctantly. Almost instantly, Thomas grins at him and leans forward, kissing him softly.

“Stay here, I´ll talk to Washington. I´ll be back in a minute.”

With that he jumps up and walks to the door, while Alex watches him go with a fond smile, feeling far better than before. Maybe it´s time to start a new birthday tradition.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading and tell me what you think of it! You can also follow me on tumblr @whatdidimissjm :)


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